My Sister in Law is thinking about permanently making it so that they can no longer have children. I spent some time reading some blogs today and here are my thoughts. This is a sensitive subject for us so I thought I would post my thoughts.
I read the blog and my heart is full. This is a sensitive subject for me and I don't think it was a coincidence that I mentioned it in our phone call the other day. Maybe not even as much for you as for me. Even as I write the tears come so easily. Truth be told if I didn't have this blasted heart condition we would have a very large family! I have taken quite the risk to bring Jonathan, Grace and Josh and now this baby into this world. Sometimes we have to take risks though, and I am willing to take calculated risk to do what I believe the Lord has asked me to do. However he does not ask the same things of all of us. I really do think it boils down to personal revelation. God knows the purposes we have on this earth and I have always known that mine is raising up children to serve Him. My patriarchal blessing says a "number" of choice spirits will be sent to my home. I feel happiest and most fulfilled as I fulfill the mission the Lord has sent me to do. I just love being a mommy. That is why it has ailed me so much over the last few pregnancies to know of my heart condition and that that was probably my last baby. As I write I feel this little baby inside of me and I love it! It makes me wonder what Heavenly Father as in store for me after the delivery and if I will indeed respond to the immune suppressants like I should. Obviously if I do not respond well I know that the Lord would be telling me we have to be done permanently because an accidental pregnancy could take my life. I have to think of the children I have been given and what the Lord has asked me to do with them. In some cases I think it would be just as wrong not to follow the prompting to get sterilized when that is what the Lord is telling you to do (whether it is for health or other reasons which are just as valid). It is true we don't know the big plan. As we have postponed doing something permanent answers have come to allow us to have more children and I am so glad we waited. Nevertheless this does not mean it won't be the right answer for us at another time. Maybe the Lord intends for us to adopt and this heart condition is the only way he can point me in that direction? What if I didn't follow that direction and my kids didn't have me to raise them just because I selfishly wanted to be pregnant again?
I don't know the answers to those questions yet and I am content to let them play out. I think you are wise to follow your heart and to search it out first. It is different for everyone and the Lord could have different purposes for your lives sterilized or not sterilized. Only you can know and I think you are doing all of the right things to get that personal answer. Thank you for seriously asking the question, as it has brought more peace to my mind knowing that if the Lord asks us to permanently stop our family I will be following His will even if it is not what I want to do. Once you learn, fast and pray you will never have regrets because you will know you did it the right way and made the right decision for your family!
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