Negative consequences

Here is a taste of part of our family economy that we all voted on in a family meeting. It has taken away all of the guess work and helped us to be so much more consistent. We also made some spread sheets of all of the steps for all of our routines (i.e bedtime, morning, ready to go when..,etc) Everyone is very clear on expectations and consequences both positive and negative. With a new baby in the house i have taken to writing all of the good and bad consequences in the notes section of my phone to help me remember. I always have my phone close and I also write down what each child earns. Anyway thought you might be interested at how we are governing ourselves. I'd love to hear any thoughts :)

Negative consequences
Bed early 8:30
Sentences (scriptures, church songs, poem character quality, SODAS)
Chores (weeds, baseboards, car, kitchen duty etc)
Media restriction (no computer games, phone taken away for the day, no Friday movie, weekend media prvledges gone,
Loss of Snack privilege for the day
Sit out fun activity (swimming, trampoline, wrestling, boating, movie)
Friend restriction

Consequences for...
Not being truthful about schoolwork...
Sentences

Not being ready for family meeting at 9...
Miss fun activity

Hurting someone on accident...
Bonus chore

Hurting someone on purpose...
Miss out on fun activity

Tattling before trying to work it out...
Bonus chore

Sneaking food without asking..
Lose snack privilege for one day

Using media without asking...
3 days no media

Not Complete a task /routine within time frame...
Bed as early as it takes you extra time to Finnish

Saying you are finished a task when you are not
Sentences

Excluding others
Do a daily routine for that person the next 3 days

Calling names
Friend restriction

Leaving a trace behind
Bonus chore

Using the wrong door, wearing or not wearing shoes in the wrong place...
Bonus chore

Interrupting/talking out of turn
Media restriction

Positive consequences...
Beans in your jar
Staying up
Extra media
Play dates
Mom/Dad dates
Chore pass
Extra snack
Good feelings :)


Thanks,

AnnMarie

Master Inspire Plan that really inspired me!!

The Bazinet Plan: How I Will Know Peace on the Day my Children Leave to Find Their Futures
We will have happy, fun relationships
I will listen to them in order to understand their perspective
I will have prepared meaningful family nights
I’ve shown them an example of happy, beautiful motherhood
I’ve taught them how to love babies and how to care for them
I’ve taught them how to love each other
I’ve taught them how to repent and forgive
How to get answers from God
How to live intentionally—prayerful meditation and journaling on what is most important, most helpful
How to discover who they are—the gifts God wants them to develop (journaling and paying attention to their natural likes and tendencies
How to sustain their natural energy through good nutrition, sleep and exercise
How to cook delicious meals
How to seek out friends—people you want to be around that bring out the best in you and make you want to be better
How to be a great friend
How to understand a persuasive argument in terms of the assumptions one makes about the world
How to love learning and know how to apply that learning for good purposes
How to say no to the good and better and focus on the best
How to love and appreciate nature/adventure/exploring
How to cultivate a garden
How to store food, water, and make an emergency kit
How to sing harmony and read music
How to appreciate the best of all kinds of music
How to dance
Which qualities are most important in looking for a spouse
How to be best friends with spouse
How to entertain and be a good hostess
How to love and respect their bodies
How to love great stories and draw on their strength
How to budget money and save money for the big, important things
How precious they (and everyone they meet) are to God (and me)
How to be a gracious guest (offer to contribute, be first to clean up, thank you cards, good table manners, please, thank you)
How to be an intentional visiting teacher
A deep understanding of and sense of gratitude for our country, its founders, and the principles of freedom
How to study scriptures with the use of a scripture/inspiration journal
How to take care of their space and make it beautiful
The difference between means and ends
How to dream big and let God teach you what big looks like
The Law of the Harvest—intentionally living for the consequences you want
You get the education you deserve
How to think like an entrepreneur
How to start and run a business

Family Builder Group (Take 2) Month 2-Parent Mentor Job 1

Family Builder Group (Take 2)

Month 2- Parent Mentor Job 1

This is my second time through this program and I hope that I will be able to implement the 1% principle as I go back and improve and understand each assignment a little bit more. My objectives are the same with different specific goals to accomplish them. They are as follows…

1.  Read Classics by…Reading to children from the classics for 1hour per day 5 days a week for next 9 months

2.  Create an Inspiring Environment by… Preparing at least 5 closet activities for the children (based on themes of interest from the ED Hirsch series), 3 Thursdays evenings out of every month for the next 9 months

3.  Get out of the box by… holding one family activity and meeting per week (planned a least one day in advance), one couples meeting and date per week (Sunday and Friday evening), and an individual meeting/date with each child once a month (take one child along once a week to help with shopping). The focus of each of these meetings/activities is to build relationships and encourage good communication. They are a time for me to be conscious of my own personal way of being and why I love my family. They are not a time to focus on what is going wrong!

Just a week and half ago we had the privilege of having Nicholeen Peck  (author of “Parenting a House United” in our home. She taught us a lot about the importance of the feeling in our home and in our tone and in staying calm so that we can preserve our relationships at all costs.  What a difference these principles have made in our family. As I have re read the “Parenting  Pyramid” and “Leadership and Self Deception” I am reminded that it is not as important what we say or do but how we say and do it! I find myself constantly asking “what is my intention here?”

As we have improved relationships within our home the environment for learning has also improved.

I do pretty well at remembering to stay out of the box with my children but I often find myself in a box with my husband, especially as I expect him to be a certain way. I know I need to work on my own “way of being” to help that relationship, and that as I do that my relationship and influencing ability with my children will also be improved.

I’m always trying to “help” my husband to be a better leader in our home and I’ve realized now that I’m not helping! I guess I’ve had an agenda for him to be a certain way so that I could have my family be what I wanted it to be. He often feels that he never does anything good enough because of this. I realize now that our relationship has gotten to a point where it is not appropriate for me to try to teach right now. I need to focus on showing feelings of acceptance and admiration and competency. Focusing on the problem just does not work. I have hope that as I focus on the strengths and attributes that my husband has that our relationship will grow to a new level and we will be able to teach each other again.

My plan to accomplish this is to have regular weekly meetings and date nights where I can do nothing but build and affirm him.  I think having more regular communication will also help us to not assume, judge or jump to conclusions with each other. I also want to commit to spending more time in the scriptures and in prayer. I feel that as I work on my own spirituality I will be less inclined to be selfish and that I will be divinely inspired to build up this relationship to the best that it can be!

Family Builder Journal month 7

Family builder Journal Month 7

Classics

I am pleased with our progress with Family reading. We are listening to lots of audio books in the car and my kids are asking for books to be read to them all the time! Their desire is there, now I just need to be consistent to our schedule and give them even more of my time to read out loud to them.   If too much time passes between chapters we lose interest. We battle with interruptions from the younger kids and I feel like everyone is trying to read books that are way above their reading level. Having the books available has been an issue too. I try to get them from the library but we can never keep them as long as we need them. I love the book list that is written at the end of this session. I also have a list of some of our favorites in the classics section of our master inspire plan although I’m having a hard time to figure out when each book is age appropriate.  I would like to just own our list and sort them on the shelves so that they are there when the kids want them. I like the idea of giving a seller a list and then buying a few every month. One of my three objectives was reading more classics and we have definitely improved since we started the Family builder. I love the conversations that the classics inspire in our home!

Devotional

Devotional is something that we have also been doing pretty consistently. We have memorized lots of things but more than anything we have felt the spirit. This is what is most important to me about this hour. I would like to take more opportunity to bear personal testimony to my children so they know how real it is for me. We have had lots of important discussions during this time and I want my children to be able to recollect on devotional and be able to recognize the spirit then when they feel it.

Mentor Dates and Planners

I have always loved planners and so this has been an easy thing to pass on to my oldest (10 year old). He loves to make lists and has chosen to use my husband’s old  iphone as his planner. We have been having more Dates than mentoring so far but we are getting closer. For almost a year now I have taken one of our 5 children with me shopping once a week for a one on one date. So each child gets one about once a month.  These dates are also meant for me to be able to get my shopping done and I’m realizing that my older son who is starting to make lists is going to need me to sit down with him and help him to break down his lists and help him to set goals not something easily done while shopping.

Parenting a House United by Nickoleen Peck

I have been reading Nickoleen pecks book this month and I love some of the agenda questions she uses on her Mentor date planning sheet.  I think I will update ours to include some of these things. I also like the idea of having Sunday be meeting day at our house. My husband and I already meet this day and I think if we added our family meeting and mentor meetings with at least the older two we would have a really good idea of what the week is going to look like. Our challenge will be to get it all in, in one day especially if there are family get-togethers or Church meetings.

As for the rest of the book I’m so inspired I’m having a hard time to remember the 1% principle.  I want to implement it all now!  She as articulated so many of the issues we have in our home that I have not even had the words to describe. I have realized that I have not yet mastered the 4 basic skills that she talks about in her book. She explains that understanding these skills are what create happy relationships. They are…1) Following Instructions  2) Accepting No and Criticism 3) Accepting Consequence 4) Disagree Appropriately.

My inability to disagree appropriately is what keeps putting me back in the box with my spouse and sometimes my children. Getting out of the box is one of my objectives that I don’t feel like I have as much progress on.  I really feel like I have found another mentor to help me where I need it.

I had the opportunity to talk with Nickoleen and the TJed Forum last month and I think we will start coaching with her when I’m done with the Family builder.

We have been having some consistency issues as parents and it is manifest in the children’s behavior, especially the younger children.  This book taught me a lot about the importance of communication, pre-teaching and vision. I have read MANY parenting books but most of them focus only on the psychology of it all. What they lack is vision and the importance of having one for the family. I see opportunity for vision in everything  now and I try to share it as much as I can. Vision for Christmas in 20 years, vision for our education, vision for the family business, vision for the trip to the store, vision for how bed time will go. The power of intention is huge!! Vision allows us to create our own reality and helps our children to be proactive about their choices. I just have to step back and let them learn from there consequences!

Norton Family Mission

1. We have fun and enjoy life, spending time with each other as a family.

2. We foster a love of learning by reading, discussing and exploring the best things in life.

3. We encourage creativity and cultural awareness.

4. We continually strive to improve ourselves mentally, physically, socially, emotionally and spiritually.

5. We serve each other and the community.

6. We are kind, respectful and supportive of each other in our seen and unseen potential.

7. We know and live the gospel of Jesus Christ.

8. We know and apply leadership principles in all we do.

9. We are frugal, industrious, self reliant and financially independent.

10.               We understand and are governed by the principles of liberty.

We recognize our divine heritage and seek to leave a legacy of greatness for generations to come

Family Builder Journal Month 6 Master Inspire Plan

Family Builder Month 6 Master Inspire Plan

As I look back over my 3 objectives I am a bit disappointed in the progress we have made. Although I have learned so much and I feel like I'm getting so much more clarity on where we want our family to be headed, I feel like some relationships have suffered in the process. I feel less in the box toward my children but am quick to jump back in the box with my husband (Objective 1). I realize that this relationship is vital to our success as a family. I'm not sure if my expectation of him is higher after learning about all of this or if I'm just feeling overwhelmed and wanting to share the weight of it with him but we have been struggling. We are still working on our vision story for our family and for us as a couple. It is easy for our conversations to turn into a power struggle as we realize that our visions are not exactly the same. I'm sure glad we are clarifying things now and not 20 years from now when the results are in! Even through our struggles, I can tell that we are getting stronger and closer. The uncomfortable questions are worth the answers. I just have to remember to inspire not require with my husband too!

 I've got to keep the focus to fixing self. I remember to apply that principle with the kids and over all I do feel like we have created a more inspiring environment (Objective 2), except cleaning day, still working on that. I will do even better at creating the environment as I consistently plan the sparks to work on (this is where I'm really excited about the closet). We are doing really well keeping to our schedule (structure time not content) and holding regular couple meetings and kid dates.

Thanks to Jim Trelease's book “The Read Aloud Handbook” we are reading like crazy at our house (Objective #3 read more classics). We have scripture snack everyday and baskets of books everywhere. We have book lamps and new shelves and lots of trips to the library and lots of time just reading. I love it! I love seeing my kids choose to curl up and read during "free play time". Even my 2 and 4 year old have caught the book fever. They play with letters and retell each other stories, they have even learned quite a few sight words on accident. They just want to fit in with a family obsessed with reading! I can't believe how things have progressed in such a short period of time.

I think the master inspire plan is just going to give us a clearer destination and will help us to find our way to getting there faster.

Master Inspire Plan

1. Classics

·         Chronicles of Narnia by CS Lewis

·         The Little House on the Prairie, by Laura Ingalls Wilder

·         Farmer Boy, by Laura Ingalls Wilder

·         7 Habits of highly Effective Kids/Teens, both by Stephen Covey

·         Tales from Shakespeare, by Charles and Mary Lamb

·         The Hobbit, by J.R.R Tolkien

·         Where the Red Fern Grows

·         Anne of Green Gables, by Montgomery

·         Old Yeller, by Fred Gipson

·         Little Britches, by Ralph Moody

·         Little Men, by Alcott

·         The Indian and the Cupboard, by Lynne Reid Banks

·         Holes

·         Hatchet

·         A Christmas Carol, by Charles Dickens

·         Peter Pan, by J.M Barrie

·         20,000 Leagues Under the Sea

·         Swiss Family Robinson

·         Sherlock Holmes

·         Journey to the Center of the Earth

·         Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

·         The Incredible Journey

·         King Arthur and his Knights of the round table

·         Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austin

·         Sense and Sensibility, by Jane Austin

·         The Count of Monty Christo

·         Think and Grow Rich

·         How to Win friends and Influence people, Dale Carnegie

·         The Secret

·         Le Miserables

·         Jane Eyre

·         Drawing on the Powers of Heaven, by Grant Von Harrison

·         Mathematicians are people too

·         Secrets of a Millionaire Mind, by T. Harv. Echler

·         Rich Dad, Poor Dad Conspiracy of the Rich, by Robert k

2. Cultural Literacy

·         Current Family culture to be captured in a family blog that is to be updated weekly and printed off as a book yearly.

·         Each member of the family will also keep a personal Journal.

·         We will read Daddy's mission Journals, Moms Journals and Grandads personal history during devotionals.

·         Daddy will continue to write and share more stories from his childhood.

·         Read the Family History compiled by Grandad.

·         Study the Culture and traditions of our native lands (Holland, Canada,  Spain and Ireland)

·         Call Aunt Darla and get some more info on Norton Family info, write it down

·         Areas of Study

o   Era's in History

o   Art

o   Poetry

o   Technology

o   Wars

o   Presidents

o   Constitution, Declaration of Independence and other founding documents'

o   Geography

o   Science (major fields, writings of great scientists)

o   Government forms

o   Philosophy

o   People of Influence (Biographies)

o   Music periods and Composers

o   Foreign Language

o   Current Events

o   Future Trends

o   Foreign affairs

o   Law

o   Religion

o   Health

o   Logic

o   Business management and marketing

o   Mathematics/ great mathematicians

o   Language Arts

o   Shakespeare

o   Mythology

o   Classic Tales

o   E.D Hirsch Core Knowledge Series

3. Resources

·         Project Seel (Early reading)

·         Kimber Curriculum

·         Sequential Spelling

·         Sing Spell Read and Write

·         Themes to Remember 1&2

·         E.D Hirsch Core Knowledge Series

·         Cornerstones of Freedom Series?

·         Excellence in Writing

·         Power Glide language Instruction?

·         Math u See?

·         Aleks?

·         The Children's Garden of Verses? Random House book of Poetry?

·         A History of Us (Joy Hakim)? or Story of the World (Susan wise Bauer)

·         Winston Grammar?

·         Childhood of Famous American Series

·         Handwriting program?

·         7 Habits series for kids

·         Hero Classic DVD collection

4. Adult Skills

·         Money management (budget, balance check book, quick books etc)

·         Tutoring children

·         Mentoring (Leadership skills)

·         Food prep

·         Shopping

·         Survival

·         Preparedness

·         First Aid

·         Birthing

·         Nursing

·         Safety

·         Cleaning

·         Laundry

·         Home Maintenance

·         Gardening

·         Auto Maintenance

·         Parenting

·         Dating

5. Organizational Programs

·         Scouts

·         Faith in God

·         Personal Progress

·         Toast masters

·         Suzuki Institute

·         Various TJEd organizations to be looked into

6. Experience

·         Lead Groups

·         Public Speaking

·         Lead and Participate in colloquia

·         Create and run a successful small business

·         Perform (music, poetry, plays solo and in groups)

7. God

·         Study Book of Mormon (using readers and Kimber curriculum to augment also Living Scripture DVDs)

·         Bible

·         Primary Yearly Curriculum (Provides scriptures themes and songs to memorize to go along with monthly themes taught in Church)

·         Articles of Faith (Primary Song book)

·         Church History (Children's Readers)

·         Prepare for Mission (Preach my Gospel and Daddy's mission journals)

·         Prophets lives and words (Friend Magazine)

·         Be Attitudes (Matt 5)

·         F.H.E

·         Devotional

o   Prayer

o   Family Mission Statement

o   Pledge

o   Song of the month

o   Article of Faith

o   Scripture of the month

o   Friend magazine

o   Scripture reader

o   Someone's Journal

8. Family Relationships

·         Be attitudes (Matt 5)

·         Five Love Languages

·         Listening skills, communication (Covey for kids)

·         Supportive and building of each other (Attribution Theory)

9. Places to go

·         Europe (Switzerland, Holland, Spain, Paris, Ireland)

·         Grand Canyon

·         Washington D.C

·         Virginia

·         Zion’s Park

·         Salt Lake

·         Israel

·         Mexico

·         Greece

·         Asia

·         Java

·         Australia

·         Myrtle Beach

·         Argentina

·         Hawaii

·         Florida (Disney, Universal, etc)

·         Bahamas (Atlantis)

·         Nauvoo (Church History trip)

·         Palmyra

·         Handcart Trek

·         Niagara Falls

·         Survival Trek

·         River rafting trip

Closet

Of the 5 rules of engagement I think I have the hardest time we staying present. I do spend lots of time planning but I don't think it's always in the right things. I'm always looking ahead to the next thing which makes it hard to stay present.

As for our structured time we are pretty consistent about having a morning school time from about 9:30 to 12:30, at least 3 times a week.  During that time we do devotional and read a lot, play educational games and do some roll play.

I want to do better about taking time to plan for school time. I plan for meals and scheduling and our family is very structured in making blocks of time for important things like reading, cleaning, eating, sleeping, doing meetings and playing. I need to somehow fit in some planning for some content during school. We often all go downstairs for school and start to get things done but sometimes we are not sure just what to do or it just doesn't seem as inspiring as it should be. I think I can make my planning time for the closet be on Thursday evenings. Right now I use a lot of that time to work on the family builder assignments. I'm just going to have to make it work. We can talk about things to plan for as a couple at our meetings on Sundays. Guess I put it off because I'm overwhelmed as to what to plan or what to follow. I’m excited to look through the web site to get some more ideas of what to put in the closet exactly.

As for a place in our home we have a nice bright basement that is set up perfectly for our school room. We have bins and shelves and tables and book cases. We also have a nearby storage room that houses the toys and games that are in rotation to go into our school room. Everything is organized into bins and they come out of hiding in a library like rotation. We do not have a closet but we do understand the benefits of changing things up and keeping them organized so pick up is less time consuming. I can see where a specific closet would be a valuable learning tool and so I think we will go and buy a free standing one from Ikea. I have already got a few ideas of things to put in there that would make them 'special" if they were in the closet and could only be used at a special time.